“How can you not have insurance?”
“Because I spent my money on the Clapco D29, the most impenetrable lock on the market today. It has only one design flaw, the door must be closed!”
Top Ten Tips to ride out the recession »
It’s often hard to quantify the power of the now, especially when the ‘now’ is so big and real, and bad. Recent times have seen billions wiped off the face of the stock market, investments and savings as people’s confidence in the economy weakens by the day.
The day the clocks spring forward - a time for opportunity »
Sunday March 29, 2009 - British Summertime begins. A landmark in the calendar. Every year I marvel at how a small difference in time can make such a big impact on our lives. British Summer Time is an eagerly anticipated day by many; for some their best day of the year.
Teenager’s 60ft painting of penis on parents’ roof spotted in space »
Guardian Unlimited
When ancient Britons drew male genitalia on chalk hillsides, little did they know people would ape their customs millennia later
When I was at school there was a craze for scrawling penis graffiti on the chairs. Hapless teachers would look around the class to work out what all the sniggering was about, only to find [...]
Thursday for “National Happy Day” »
Sir Alan Sugar has called for Thursday to be a "National Happy Day". Speaking in a GMTV interview about the new series of The Apprentice, he called for optimism in the UK press, at least one day a week.
Spring weather arrives: Warm temperatures to last most of the week »
Telegraph.co.uk
After the temperatures rose as high as 59F (15C) in parts of the country on Sunday, making it the hottest day of the year so far, forecasters said the best of the warm spell is yet to come.
“I’m not offended”, insists man »
A man accused of being called a number of horrid things at work yesterday, insisted he was ‘not offended’ by any of the comments.
Are we alone in the universe? Nasa set to launch first mission to find Earth-like worlds »
dailymail.co.uk
Nasa is set to launch a £428million space mission to hunt for Earth-like worlds that may harbour alien life.
Duchess of York attends The Young Victoria premiere »
Telegraph
The Duchess of York attended the world premiere of The Young Victoria last night, declaring that it was the culmination of 15 years of dreaming.
It was the Duchess’s idea to make a film about Queen Victoria’s early years with Prince Albert.
She is a co-producer of the film, which charts the young Victoria’s ascension to the [...]
Eurotunnel to pay first dividend »
guardian.co.uk
Eurotunnel’s long-suffering shareholders will soon receive their first dividend in 22 years. This morning the Channel tunnel operator announced that it made a net profit of €40m (£35.6m) last year – only the second in its history – meaning investors will receive €0.04 per share.
Eurotunnel has been weighed down with debt for most of its [...]
Gordon Brown brings economic optimism to US Congress »
Timesonline
Gordon Brown has used the most high-profile speech of his life to predict that the world’s stricken economy will double in size over the next two decades, with mass producers like China and India becoming giant consumers of goods from the west.
