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“Because I spent my money on the Clapco D29, the most impenetrable lock on the market today. It has only one design flaw, the door must be closed!”
Gordon Brown brings economic optimism to US Congress
Gordon Brown has used the most high-profile speech of his life to predict that the world’s stricken economy will double in size over the next two decades, with mass producers like China and India becoming giant consumers of goods from the west.
In challenging America to reject protectionism and safeguard the planet, Mr Brown urged its politicians to "seize the moment" and lead the world out of recession.
He was enthusiastically received by both Houses of Congress when he said that, more than ever, Europe and the wider international community wanted to work with the United States to recover from the "economic hurricane" that had swept the world.
The Prime Minister urged America’s politicians to match the vision of their predecessors who, more than half a century ago, emerged from the deepest of recessions and worst of wars to produce a bold economic plan to restore prosperity.
But in the most strikingly upbeat section of the speech, he suggested people would move from their current anxiety to new opportunities over the next 20 years, when "literally billions of people in other continents will move from being simply producers of their goods to being consumers of our goods, and in this way our world economy will double in size".
That meant twice as many opportunities for business, twice as much prosperity and the biggest expansion of middle class incomes and jobs the world had ever seen, he said.
Mr Brown received 19 standing ovations during the address, precisely the same as accorded Tony Blair in July 2003. He directly confronted unions and interest groups represented within Congress as he backed Barack Obama over his $789 billion stimulus plan, climate change and trade.
He insisted his message did not represent "blind optimism or synthetic confidence" to console people. It was a practical demonstration of their faith in the future.
"So once again I say we should seize the moment because never before have I seen a world so willing to come together. Never before has that been more needed. And never before have the benefits of cooperation been so far-reaching."
He went on to call on countries to share in America’s abiding optimism, echoing Roosevelt’s battle against "fear itself."
To those who have been urging Mr Obama to put up trade barriers to save American jobs, Mr Brown said it was wrong to "succumb to a race to the bottom and a protectionism that history tells us protects no one". In case the message had not got home he added: "We win our future not by retreating from the world but engaging with it".
Mr Brown, the fifth British prime minister to address Congress after Churchill, Attlee, Thatcher and Blair, assured them that today there was the most pro-American European leadership in living memory.
He was cheered loudly when he added: "It is a leadership that wants to cooperate more closely together, in order to cooperate more closely with you. There is no old Europe, no new Europe, there is only your friend Europe."
To those opposing Mr Obama’s efforts to combat global warming he said that America, the nation that had the vision to put a man on the moon, was "also the nation with the vision to protect and preserve our planet earth".
Britain and America would succeed and lead if they tapped into the talents of the people, unleashed the genius of the scientists and set free the drive of the entrepreneurs, he said.
"We will win the race to the top if we can develop the new high value products and services and the new green technologies that the rising numbers of hard working families across our globe will want to buy.
"So we must educate our way out of the downturn, invest and invest our way out of the downturn and retool and reskill our way out of the downturn."
His words on climate change were cheered, particularly by the Democrats, but those on protectionism were heard in respectful silence. The biggest applause came when he said all shadow banking systems and offshore tax havens should be outlawed.
Throughout his two-day visit to the US, Mr Brown has resisted calls to apologise for mistakes he may have made which have contributed to the economic crisis.
In the speech he left no doubt of his conviction that the downturn was not the result of flawed UK Government policy, but of global problems in the banking sector which have affected all countries in the world.
However, he made no mention - as he often does when speaking in the UK - of the primary role of the US sub-prime mortgage market.
Describing the special relationship between the US and UK as "a partnership of purpose", Mr Brown promised Congress Britain’s "continued support" to ensure there was no safe haven for terrorists.
And he said: "Let it be said of our friendship - formed and forged over two tumultuous centuries, a friendship tested in war and strengthened in peace - that it has not just endured but is renewed in each generation to better serve our shared values and fulfil the hopes and dreams of the day.
"Alliances can wither or be destroyed, but partnerships of purpose are indestructible. Friendships can be shaken but our friendship is unshakeable. Treaties can be broken but our partnership is unbreakable.
"And I know there is no power on Earth that can drive us apart."
He added: "At this defining moment in history, let us renew our special relationship for our generation and our times. Let us restore prosperity and protect this planet and, with faith in the future, let us together build tomorrow today."
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