“How can you not have insurance?”
“Because I spent my money on the Clapco D29, the most impenetrable lock on the market today. It has only one design flaw, the door must be closed!”
Mirror mirror, on the wall
When times get tough and it seems that the world is being overbearing, unkind and more challenging than it should be, it is easy to fall back into a distasteful feeling of being a victim of circumstances. How easily we can forget our own power, and how readily we give this power over to anything which we consider dominates our lives.
Deep down we all realise that we cannot ever be victims of any circumstances and events, regardless of their seeming gravity, being, as we are, the masters of our own destinies. To accept this fact when all is going extremely well is an easy task, but when things are not looking so good, and we end up living things that we perhaps prefer less, we choose to blame something outside of ourselves, than direct the blame inwards, It just feels better to blame others than to blame ourselves (feel guilty).
Do you think life is fair? Are you a lucky person? Do your friends, colleagues and lovers appreciate you? Does your boss respect you? Are you intelligent? These are important questions indeed, and you’ll find that whatever you say will reflect your belief on the subject. Sometimes people see the world responding to them in a particular way, and form their beliefs from what they see happening to them, as they form beliefs the world responds to them, reinforcing that belief. The world is neither good nor bad. It merely reflects back to you how you feel and what you believe and expect to happen on the many subjects important to you. You might consider life as a mirror, showing you in every moment what’s going on inside you.
If you get out of the right side of bed and feel good, or the sun is shining and you feel good as a result, your day goes well because it is responding to how you feel. If you get out of the wrong side of bed, you might stub your toe, or bump your head, or burn yourself, and you day goes from bad to worse as the world responds to how you feel (and in that instance you feel that the world is against you). Of course you can choose to react differently to the situation, being happy even though the conditions haven’t changed, practicing unconditional love, and turn it all around in an instant. People find their balance one way or another, some understand how the world works, and others are not really interested in finding out, and will continue to be hapless victims of the world around them.
Consider the following statements:
* If people are rude to you, and you feel like a victim, they are really reflecting to you how you really feel about yourself.
* If your partner complains about something you do or say, and you take it personally, you can thank that person for pointing out something within you that you haven’t yet made peace with or come to terms with.
* If you are coming across irritable people in traffic and they annoy you, the chances are that you were a little bit annoyed yourself when you stepped into your vehicle, they are reflecting back to you how you feel.
* If you are bowled over by how many beautiful people there are in the world, you can be sure that you see yourself as beautiful, and are tuned into the beauty of the world. Conversely, if you are harsh or critical of others’ behaviour, then it is quite likely that your internal chatter is along the same lines.
It sounds simplistic, but the world is a moving picture of indications of what you are broadcasting to the world. Tune in to love and beauty, and see the love and beauty of the world show itself to you. Tune in to hate and fear and violence, and watch how quickly those aspects of the world come to you in spades.
For anything that anyone else says or does to affect you in any way, you have to have that very thing active in your vibe, or you wouldn’t be able to relate to it in the first place. As the saying goes; "If you spot it, you’ve got it". If you see a characteristic in another that you like or dislike, it is always because you have that characteristic within you. Similarly if someone sees something in you that they like or dislike, it is not so much about you as it is about them. People, who are in love, love the world, because they feel love towards the world and themselves. If you tried to insult them, they wouldn’t be affected, not forgetting that it would be extremely difficult to physically open your mouth and do it in the first place.
Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with someone, and found words coming out of your mouth, which seemingly weren’t your own? You might have said some fairly harsh teasing words to someone, and straight after thought, "Wow, where did that come from, that wasn’t me at all". What happened is that person, through their vibe, evoked certain words and behaviour from you. If you had been surer about yourself and had a stronger vibe yourself, you wouldn’t have gone there at all. But when someone else’s vibe is strong, you can easily find yourself wrapped up in it and doing things that are uncharacteristic of you. Think of it as influence of others, whether positive or negative.
We are all in the game of life together; using each other a sounding boards to show us how we feel about the world on many different subjects, in any given moment. To someone who understands this and takes responsibility and charge for their life, this can be incredibly empowering. When you feel wonderful, connected to love, connected to joy, and to your fellow human beings, and you come across someone who is usually grouchy (unlikely I know, as law of attraction would not match you up, but if you did), you could dominate the vibe and evoke positive responses from the person you are interacting with.
I find nothing more annoying that being warned by someone about a person. Words such as "Oh, he’s a real pain, difficult to get one with." do a wonderful job of setting my expectation up in a way that I evoke the very same characteristics from that person when I meet them. Left to my own devices and without warning, I could have had a very pleasant interaction. Within every person, indeed within every aspect of life, there is a balance of good and bad. What you get from another person or company or government body is entirely up to your approach and expectation. Admittedly there are some people out there who are annoying, and difficult to get on with at the best of times, but if you are feeling good and seeing the best in people, you will either interact with them on their one good day a week, or you will get someone else who is much closer to your vibe or happy, fun and joyful instead.
So, everyone you know; parents, friends, housemates, employers, and work colleagues, strangers on the street; all of them can interact with you in a positive way, if you decided to evoke these characteristics from them. How do you do this? You focus upon their good points, and ignore their bad points. Tune yourself to the good of the world and the people in your life, and choose what kind of relationships you have with others, rather than just living randomly based on what you see.
As most relationships start, they work extremely well. This is largely because each person, in the absence of real data about the other, makes up the details in their imagination. They see the person as they want to see them. Beautiful, clever, kind, loving, happy, free, considerate etc. It all starts out really well. You are in love, and so are they. Then as the relationship progresses, people tend to give more attention to the data that they have gathered, as they find out more about the person and discover that they are not perhaps as they thought. This focus of attention, especially on the bad characteristics of the other is what brings relationships down.
If you could maintain the early phase of a relationship, focussing on the person’s attributes as you would like them to be (regardless of the reality), you would be able to inspire, evoke and uplift that person to your expectations of them. You are the creator of your life, and your relationships, and even the characteristics of you mate.
What most people do is focus on people’s negatives (and lets be honest, everyone has them), and evoke more and more bad stuff from their lover, and then blame the other person for not being who they want them to be. Newsflash! It’s not their responsibility. It is your responsibility to see them as you want them to be, and to evoke the behaviour from them. Be more deliberate about life! Life is about perception, and we are each living an individual experience. We are surrounded by many people with many complex sides to their personalities. Relationships can be extremely rewarding and extremely painful, but a determined attitude to focus on the things in others that we like, will attract more of such behaviour and similar people with same characteristics to us.
We are told to view life objectively, and I think this approach really doesn’t serve us that well. If there is good and bad in every thing in this balanced universe, and we do have a choice about what we are going to focus upon. Which would you rather have in your life? Good things, bad things, or a bit of a mixed bag? You take your pick. You are in charge.
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