“How can you not have insurance?”
“Because I spent my money on the Clapco D29, the most impenetrable lock on the market today. It has only one design flaw, the door must be closed!”
Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places.
Everyone loves the feeling of being in love. But what does it mean to be ‘in love’? Is it about you loving someone else, or about someone else loving you? Is it being adored by millions? Gaining the adoration of a crowd of 100,000 adoring fans, or countless millions who flow love to you when they read your magnificent bestselling book.
From the moment we come down to live life on planet earth, we are living a tension caused by the contrast of life. We are pulled away from the knowing that all really is well, and we seek to know that we really are good, and to know our value. We want to feel loved and adored, but where do we go looking for that love? Usually it is from the other people in our lives, our parents and siblings, and often they do not have it to give to us.
Many of us, when we were younger, we were trained by those who surrounded us to look to them for love. It was scary to come from a realm of pure positive energy into a slightly edgy world of worry and contrast. Much like waking up in the morning after a wonderful refreshing sleep, there was an excitement about what was to come, the new unexplored world, but the prospect of life was also far more daunting than the place of well being we’d been whilst sleeping.
So as children, we sought to feel better, and looked to the adoring eyes of our parents for reassurance that everything truly was OK. If our parents themselves were living unconditional love, and felt secure in themselves, they usually left us alone, let us learn ourselves, and guide our own lives through our thoughts and feelings. In short, we were allowed to follow our dreams, and they were happy to follow theirs. If on the other hand our parents lived conditional love, feeling the need to attempt to control conditions to feel better, in their lack of ability to focus on the good in life, they smothered those around them from expressing who they were, and trained them to behave in a way that would suit the parents, not the children.
It is true to say that your life is an outward manifestation of your inner space. If you feel happy and loving, you radiate it to the world and meet similar people. If you feel angry and irritated, you radiate it to the world, and also attract similar people and circumstances. If someone criticizes you, they are highly critical of themselves, and you are seeing that spilling over to the world at large.
Photo by tim and selena
When we are young we love easily. It is in our nature to see the best in things, to see the beauty, fascination and wonder in the world around us, and to be in a state of joy merely because we are here on planet earth. And think about that. What do these babies have to be happy about? They cannot walk, they can’t speak, they have no conscious bowel control, yet even so they are joyful little beings. They don’t (at least in their early days) seek to have stuff, they just ‘be’ little packages of joy. What basis do they come from to know that all is well? Some would say that it’s not what they know, but what they don’t know. They say that it’s because they haven’t yet been warned of all of the dangers of the world, and in their ignorance they feel bliss.
Actually these babies know exactly what they are coming into, and the fresh perspective afforded by a new life experience is most exhilarating to them. To know who you are, first you must forget who you are. To live a new individual experience, a new incarnation, first you must be allowed to wipe the slate clean and have no memory of any of your past experiences. This is what is so exciting. And why the older you get, the grumpier you get. It’s like you know too much about what can go wrong. Try telling the little ones, they don’t want to know and you can see it on their faces when you ‘warn’ them about things.
We expect things to go well for us, it is a basic tenet of life. When they don’t we take it personally, as we should. We see this easily in the little people. Often labelled as demanding by their caretakers who have long forgotten or given up on their own dreams, they feel the child’s desire is inappropriate (as they themselves were taught and ended up living) and so train the child into an expectation of a meagre life. This is not helpful, and leads to more struggle than is necessary. Life is here to give you what you want, but you have to be in a place where you expect it to come. Train this expectation out of your children, and you are shooting them in the foot. Instead let them know that life is supposed to be good for them, that it is going well for them, and that they are good, no matter what.
We see in children a very clear understanding of the law of attraction. Before their parents teach them otherwise, they seek to focus in a way that makes them feel good. They are very closely aligned with love, with their source energy, and they feel the separation from that source more powerfully than adults. Call it a temper tantrum if you will, but they know what they want and they are not afraid to express it. When was last time you saw a depressed toddler? If you say something to them that causes them to focus apart from their loving source, they feel it strongly. And this is where it starts to go awry. As long as you hold yourself and others in the same regard as your source ( which is pure love) does, then you will feel wonderful. Unfortunately, the well meaning adults who weren’t understanding unconditional love, needed you to change in order for them to feel good. This was unfortunate as you were no longer following your inner guidance, but trying instead to use those outside of you to guide your life. This obviously in no successful strategy for living life. You must follow your dreams if you are to be happy. If they tell you you cannot, do what you need to do to follow your dreams. Run away, far away from those who tell you otherwise. They are well meaning, but they don’t know what’s good for you or why you came to live your life. You are the only one who knows that.
Some parents look to their children for love, ie they see the children and feel good, so decide that it is the child’s responsibility to adapt its behaviour to make the parent feel good. This conditional love is the cause behind all of the world problems, bar none. We all start out as pure positive energy beings, and if we were allowed to follow our own inner guidance, would life joyful lives. When we are told that following what others say is more important that following our own hearts, we get separated from our source and our expansion and we don’t feel quite so joyful, we then lash out in powerlessness and seek to find our balance, not realising that it is our core that is unstable, and that the strategy of conditional love (attempting to modify how we feel by controlling conditions) that we were taught by our parents, doesn’t work.
You see, inside every human being is a source of pure love, that is who we are. When we act or think or speak in a loving way we feel the resonance of our source or soul (that is why being in love feels so good). When we come across others who focus on us in a way that causes us to focus upon ourselves with love, it feels wonderful. Often we see the other person as the cause for the feeling, when in fact they are merely a catalyst. It is the act of focussing in a loving way which brings about the resonance with your core values, the other person could be any object of attention (granted you might not love the toaster so easily, but with practice you could get close to the same feelings of appreciation for many things in life). Why limit the wonderful feeling of appreciation, of love to people. Be who you really are to your core, be a lover, love everything, appreciate the good wherever you go, because your source is love. Do it because it feels good, do it because not doing it is a travesty of who you really are, do it because once you have managed to connect to love deliberately, nothing less than that will ever do again.
The happy news is that it is not what anyone else does that affects how you feel, it is the duo of you and the source within you, that counts. You have all of the love that you need right inside you. find that harmony first, and then pour it out to the world, to your friends, families and your lovers. You are love. Be who you are.
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